A note on Teeth (and beauty)

 

How many times have you seen a member of the opposite sex that you found to be attractive.  Or, as Eddie Izzard put it:

"Susan, I saw you in the classroom today. As the sun came from behind the clouds, a burst of brilliant light caught your hair, it was haloed in front of me. You turned, your eyes flashed fire into my soul, I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, 'I fancy you.' "

That is, of course, until they go and open their mouth.  I am not referring to what is usually meant by that, where you determine that the person is a complete and total mush head who cannot manage to put two to three words together into what is at least a semi-coherent sentence, i.e. "Me talk good," I mean where you see this mouth full of entirely messed up teeth.  Classic British teeth, much like in the glorious The Simpsons episode, "Last Exit to Springfield," where they showed The Big Book of British Smiles.

Something much like this happened to me today.  Since my company still has yet to institute direct deposit (we just got voicemail about 3 years ago, if that tells you anything) I had to go to the bank to deposit my pittance of a salary.  While there, I noticed that all of the usual hot girls had been replaced.  There were a couple that could be classified as at least semi-cute. 

One of the semi-cute girls was by far more attractive than the other, at least until you saw the mangled mess that was her mouth.  Upon seeing her smile, any thoughts of me wishing I weren't married and wanting to get into her pants went totally by the wayside.  Is this arrogant of me?  I know that my teeth are not completely perfect, in that I have a chip in one of my incisors (a very small one, but it bugs me still) and I do grind them when I sleep which means they have a little too much wear.  But, at least they are not crooked and snaggly.  At the same time, though, I know what I find attractive, and it does not include a mouth full of teeth that you fear may grab your lip and rip it off when you attempt to kiss someone.  All I know for sure is that any time I see a pretty girl smile with a mouth full of crooked teeth, I die a little on the inside.